Oh. My. Blog.

Let me preface this entry with the statement: I always feel compelled to climb mountains when traveling. Ironically and without fail, everytime I decide to take a trek upward, it takes about 20 minutes into the climb for me to remember that I don´t particularly enjoy scaling the earth´s elevations. Doesn´t matter where I am, I just don´t take pleasure in thin air, steep inclines and unreliable footing. Team sports? Yes. Mountain climbing? No.

Today´s adventure´s name was Cotopaxi. It is an active volcano with glaciers. It is 5897m high (19,347ft).

Mark and I arranged a guide (Fredco*) and he drove us and a couple from Colorado up into the mountain. Once we got to the area (1.5 hours out of Quito), it took about another hour on unpaved paths to 4x4 our way up to "base." During this ascent, our 1981 Land Cruiser´s back left shock decided to... umm... detach. Guess who was sitting over the back left wheel? Here I am wondering why I was feeling every bump (and they were constant).

Fredco clipped some available barbed wire, slid under the truck and 10 minutes later, we were on our way. Apparently, he´s dealt with setbacks like this before.

We arrive at the base where everyone starts their trek. I think our truck is going to fall sidesways off the parking area (i.e. cliff). At this point we´re already pretty freakin´ high up in this beast (it´s the second-largest volcano in Ecuador) and I´m starting to get light-headed. Then, I look at the path we´re supposed to hike up. It´s about 75 degrees upwards. Fantastic.

Nevertheless, I´m still pretty pumped for the exercise. Fredco points to our destination -- a lodge-type place. Excellent. Let´s do it.

Twelve minutes. It took approximately 12 minutes for me to remember I prefer cable cars up the side of steep mountains**. Yeah, the scenery was beautiful and all that, but here´s what was going through my head. File under "What NOT to think about when climbing very high mountains":

- "How close is the nearest hospital?"
- "What happens if I can´t get to 17,000 feet?"
- "What happens if I get to 17,000 feet and freak out?"
- "What is my purpose on this planet?"
- "Do they have a spa in that lodge up there?"


All drama aside, I made it to our glacier and took some pictures and it felt good... as good as altitude woozieness can. It was truely an amazing sight. Breath-taking... literally.

I´ve come to the conclusion that there is a direct correlation between my mood and altitude: The higher I get, the bitchier I become. The way up I was Grumpy McWhinefest. On the trek down, I was happy as a clam.

Ask Mark -- he´ll attest to all of it.

*I think this was his name.
**We did this yesterday in Teleferiqo -- 14,000 feet in six minutes. It ruled.

Mark and I arrived safely in Quito on a super-chill flight out of Miami. It was only three and one-half hours. I spent more time waiting in LaGuardia getting on my Christmas flight from New York to Charolotte.

Flying into the city at night was a pretty interesting site because it´s at an altitude of 9300 feet. So, when overlooking the sparkling city lights, you have very little depth perception. You know there are mountains, but don´t know how high and it´s hard to tell exactly how close the lights on the hills are. But now that I think about it, it could´ve just been those pills I took before the flight wearing off...

Despite a nasty stomach-virus-thought-i-had-ebola surprise over the Christmas holiday, my insides appear to be intact and functioning as intended. It's a good thing, too, because tomorrow morning I'm headed to the real south of the border for some Spanish, surfing and sunshine. Gnomar is packed for the journey and I'm still looking for my toothbrush travel case. Stop one on the two-month South America tour: Ecuador.

What's in the bag (all clean):
- 3 pairs of shorts
- 2 pairs of pants
- 10 shirts
- 10 dainties
- 5 prescriptions
- 3 books, 1 journal, favorite pen, a few poems
- a handful of sea shells

The full itinerary is yet to be disclosed because it's... err... it's a bit of a work in progress, but it'll probably go something like Ecuador > Peru > Bolivia > Argentina. I'll be updating this it's-not-a-blog blog throughout the trip, so check it as religiously as you do Gawker if you wanna keep track. Also, if geography isn't your thing and you don't immediately know where places like Guayaquil are (I didn't know until last week), peep at this interactive travel map of the journey.

Time to actually put that stuff together in my bag and realize... it's time to go.

Ok, now I'm excited...

Start with an image of Britney Spears spilling out of a cab with her bojangle exposed for every paparazzi to snatch a shot of (heh). So, if this is the proven formula for success, who am I to not want to succeed?

Consider this the champagne christening the ship, people. Let the blog begin...